InsaneJournal

Fic bit: All That Chance Was (Death Note, L)
Ficbit for strawberry_smut, who stumped me with a quote from an old Death Note drabble. ^_^ Pulled up here instead of in comments because it is spoilery like woah and I like to keep such things confined behind obvious cuts when I can.

So.

Death Note, L, 275 words. Gen, or L->Light if you're looking, but not any moreso than the series itself.
Spoilers through episode 25 / chapter 58. (Anime continuity, particularly, in that it references a scene that wasn't in the manga.)

All That Chance Was

L found it incredibly unsatisfying, really. That was the main problem.

It was like being most of the way into a game of Minesweeper, calculating the inferences all the way to the end, and finally realizing that you had to guess. All the knowledge to make the right decision would never be at his fingertips – it couldn't ever be. He wasn't even estimating, calculating likelihoods and moving when he was confident but not entirely sure - the information he needed was behind a blank grey wall. The shinigami was that wall.

Of course, if he chose wrong now it meant more than a board full of mines lit up – he would be dead. Inevitably. It bothered him that he had so little control over it.

And if he chose correctly, he would prove that Light was Kira, equally inevitably. He would win, but it would be all chance – or based on variables out of his control, anyway, which was really all that chance was.

The worst part – well, worst other than the dying, but he wouldn't have to live through that part, trivially – was that Light still thought the game was on. He had to, of course. As soon as he saw the endgame it would be over.

It was entirely irrational, really, but L wished he could share this feeling with Light. Light would understand, would see the inevitability and know that the game no longer mattered. And then L might hear some sort of truth from Light's lips. That might be worth it.

The rain beat down, cold, and his ears rang. Bells, L thought, out of nowhere. Who are they ringing for?